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the end for you.the end for usI see the truth in your eyes
A lie on your lips
But I try to believe you
When you say that it’s gonna be ok
I try hard to believe you
...it's so hard to believe you
But not today…
I don’t know what I feel
I don’t know what I’ll say
Maybe I’ll say that is over
Maybe I’ll say “please don’t go”
I know that you are not so clever
I know that you don’t know
What I say, what I show
So I don’t have reasons to fight
Tonight will be the night
In which you will go away
And turn off the light
You don’t have reasons to stay.
Teenage TaoismGiving birth is the closest I’d ever felt to dying.
Before that, my near death experiences had consisted only of my silent announcement of pregnancy—silent, being that my social media accounts were all deleted almost simultaneously and I never returned to school in the fall, saying without really saying that I had caught the malicious disease of “teenage pregnancy”. I’m sure the whisper spread in the hallways like the Bubonic Plague. That September, sitting at home on what would have been the first day of my senior year, I imagined friends I’d never talk to again saying “she was only seventeen, and so full of life!” at my absence in the cafeteria tables, as if they were attending my funeral instead of talking about me behind my back.
"Full of life," I had snorted then, folding a never ending stream of what had once been my own baby clothes. "Literally."
I walked around like a zombie for the months of my pregnancy, deciding t
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